I Have A Dream (about Daft Punk)

Happy post-Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Like most federal holidays, I started the day with promises to myself of cleaning, chores, and productive behavior, and ended it with a ramen noodle and Diet Dr. Pepper binge.

However, there were at least 65 minutes in there that I’d label a success. I pulled up YouTube and watched Interstella 5555 in its entirety. This is a tremendous piece of artwork – a blend of Discovery (Daft Punk’s best studio album) and Toei Animation (of Voltron and Dragon Ball fame).

Inspiration, for kids carving into desks everywhere.

“So what?”, you say. “Who cares if Daft Punk made a long, boring music video?”

Hey, don’t fart in my cheerios and think I’m not going to eat them.

Much like Interstella, Daft Punk is doing another music-storyboard project. If you haven’t already guessed it, I have some big news for the blogosphere: Daft Punk and I are collaborating on a soundtrack for my day.

Yea, you read that correctly.  I’m in charge of storyboard, direction, and casting. Daft Punk will be in charge of picking up the phone when I call them to get the green light for the project. They don’t even have to make a new album, as they did for Tron . All the classics, complete with amazing visuals from my day! Let’s see what we’ve got so far.

Daft, me, and Punk. We hung out and got sodas.

9:31am – Wake up with the steak 77/23 ground beef up. Put in contacts. No, wait, I conveniently passed out with them still in. Looks like an extra 15 seconds for me! Avoid showering in hopes that I’ll get myself to the gym. Pour a big bowl of Crispix (told you I go hard) and watch some Sportscenter. Crumbs on couch are evaluated; consolidation plan is instituted, and crumbs are moved to the floor.

Daft Punk song: Fresh, the most morning-sounding track in their catalogue. Also, I can chew Crispix on beat.

11:22am – Is is lunch yet? Eat a brownie from the pan from three days ago, wonder how there are still brownies left. Put on actual pants (sigh) and head out to the Home Depot. Wait, you think I’m actually going fix something? Not on your life. I’m here to look at paint swatches and maybe treat myself to an even stronger pair of industrial strength scissors. Who knows when I’ll need to cut something?

Idea: use scissors to refashion pants into cooler, higher pants.

Daft Punk song: Harder Better Faster Stronger. I like an driving, upbeat song that makes me feel productive when I’m making important decisions, such as choosing between Wild Current and Salute.

1:38pm – Finally, let’s get onto that healthy lunch of more Crispix and Brownies. Let’s see, what’s on at 1 on a Monday afternoon? Real Housewives of Atlanta or Intervention? Talk about a tough decision. I’m going to have to punt on this one (read: remote is too far away, so I’ll keep the TV on ESPN). Whoa, bonus NBA! Somebody up there loves me.

Daft Punk song: Television Rules the Nation. It’s like they knew I liked TV. Talk about seer!

5:19pm – Okay, shower for real now. Time for my favorite game: pee into the drain as quietly as possible. Yes, won again! Follow it up with the weekly shave, and then run out to Harris Teeter to pick up groceries and meet some moms. Why yes, I too am looking for infant formula for my 6-year-old son. Maybe they can have a play date. If you know what I mean. Grab a 12-pack of Capri Sun and get back home. Like a boss.

Moms everywhere be fiendin for it.

Daft Punk song: High Fidelity. Your day doesn’t slow down, not even for moms at grocery stores. And when the wheels of your day are set in motion, sometimes it’s best to just jump out of the car and tell your wife that it was her fault the parking brake was down. She’ll fall for it. Metaphorically speaking.

9:48pm – Freak out when I realize, shit, it’s Monday, I have to write something for tomorrow. Pull out cleverly labeled Journal O’ Ideas from inside bedstand under clothes pile #3 and realize that I might want to start putting stuff in here instead of just opening it every Monday night. Turn on reality show du jour, live blog it and pretend that this is an acceptable way to skirt by each week. Celebrate with a beer and a box of vanilla pudding mix, which can be added to milk to make vanillk.

Dear Journal: I am not calling you a diary anymore, because the other kids blog fun of me.

Daft Punk song: Short Circuit. You know how things can get hectic? No, you don’t, and yes, they do. This song kind of streamlines everything, and helps keep me grounded. Get it? Circuit? Grounded? Man, some days it’s just too easy.

Well, that’s about it for the day. Big thanks to Daft Punk for letting me sully their reputation through mere association with my daily activities. As always, anytime you guys want to hang out, I’m free. I’ll even bring brownies.

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