Summer TV Lineups Prove America Is Becoming a Parody of Itself

I hope you’ve all got some good books picked out for the summer, because television is going to get weird. I’m sure summer programming is tricky, since ratings are lower across the board and no one wants to waste their best stuff. But this year’s programming feels as though it’s a series of 30 Rock jokes brought to life. 

The pitch: So you know how when you watch a game show, like Jeopardy, people get answers wrong and they might, like, lose points or whatever, but nothing really happens to them? Wouldn’t it be awesome if instead of just standing there, being wrong, they were punished in a scary or embarrassing or just totally unnecessary way?

The show: 

Apparently this is a remake of a British show, but if the budget for the royal wedding and this week’s fake Botox mom story taught us anything, it’s that we need to stop copying the British. I know their accents make them sound classy, but they may be even more ridiculous than we are.

The pitch: You know what there just isn’t enough of? Entertainment about blonde, single women who are looking for love but who, no matter what, have each other. We should make a show like that!

The show: 

Thanks, NBC, for filling the single-women-over-30 comedy void with a show that says, “Hey spinsters, there may be hope for you yet. Just look at these sassy, interchangeable ladies as they navigate the dating world in this soon-to-be-cancelled comedic romp!” But next time, remember that the one thing that does not need a five-minute trailer is a show with a premise that can be explained in two sarcastic sentences.

The pitch: You know what would be bat shit insane? If celebrities traded places with regular people, because those people have the same name as the celebrities. 

The show: Same Name, on CBS.  

Alternate Name: Celebrity Wife Swap

There’s no video for this available, and I am hoping against hope that’s because this is a joke, but according to CBS’ website, the pilot features David Hasselhoff switching places with a Texan electrical technician/landscaper so they can “walk in each other’s shoes.” So Baywatch David Hasselhoff is going to live with this man’s family while this small town, family man David Hasselhoff gets drunk and kicked off planes…all because they happen to have the same name. I’m sure, sadly, that it will be a huge hit.

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