I’m not perfect. Far from it, actually. I am currently writing this post to procrastinate writing the recap no one’s waiting for of a TV show that no one watches, I’ve never owned an iron, and I’m too lazy to think of a new set up since the last time I wrote a post like this.
After I’ve spent a little time thinking about my flaws (and listing them on a public website), I need a boost. And today, I’m looking to the surprising number of people who have walked into, off of, and over things while too engrossed in their phones.
Join me, won’t you, as we enjoy the fact that – odds are – we are not these people.
Texting teen falls into manhole.
Down a manhole! Like Bugs Bunny! Granted, some responsibility definitely rests on the crew that “abandoned the open manhole to go get cones to block off the manhole.” I mean, plan ahead a little, guys. But one of my favorite parts about a lot of these stories is the desire to get the media involved at all. If I fell into inches of raw sewage because I was too busy texting, something tells me my first instinct would not be “QUICK, TELL EVERYONE!”
Woman steals spotlight of news story.
You know that feeling when you trip, and you immediately look around to see if anyone saw? Imagine looking up into an effing news camera. And now with Youtube around, that’s basically like tripping and looking around to see 4 billion people staring at you, all with the ability to hit repeat.
Woman falls into Lake Michigan while texting.
Kudos to that reporter for keeping a straight face during the retelling of that story. At least this woman had the good sense not to give her name or an interview, so that no one will ever know her identity…except maybe the person she was texting at that moment, since the last thing she probably sent was, “At the pier, where r u?”
Woman walks into mall fountain.
I know someone who fell into a mall fountain once. Of course, he was three at the time, and his description of how it happened would probably have the same level of detail and coherence. Her boot hit the edge, and then all she saw was coins. Yup, sounds about right. And for that, this woman will always be the queen of texting, falling and making me feel better about myself.