The Bachelorette Recap and Power Rankings: Week 7

Week 7 brings us to Prague

Next week Emily goes to meet the guys’ families, so this is the week that really separates the men from the wolves.  That’s right, I think it’s obvious that Wolf is not going to get to take Emily back to meet the pack.

-Arie gets the first one-on-one date.  Their date is just walking around Prague.  I get it.  And in old timey European cities that can be pretty entertaining.  But come on, Emily.  ABC is at your disposal.  Where are all the helicopter rides and high-adventure experiences?

Chris Harrison addresses the tv audience to drop this bomb:  Arie had a “very brief” relationship with a producer of the show many years ago.  Emily thinks he should have told her, and she isn’t happy about it. Emily keeps asking him “Are you trustworthy? Do you have any secrets?” and he really isn’t getting the hint.  He fesses up that he got another girl’s name tattooed on his body, but not to the relationship with the producer. They had an off-camera conversation about it.  That is absolute horseshit.  What the fuck, Chris Harrison?  I imagine that we missed a pretty great throwdown

Now we’re back on camera, it is night time, and Emily and Arie are making out. I call bullshit on this entire date.  They edited out the confrontation, the fight, the make-up, the aftershock fight, and the part where the producers forced her to pretend that it didn’t matter so that she can still send Wolf home later.  This is a low move, even for ABC.

-Now Wolf gets a one-on-one.   think he has a worse shot with Emily than he did with Liam Neeson.

They go on a date walking around prague, SURPRISE!  They vandalize some wall to fight communism, then struggle to put a symbolic lock on a fence, which Emily sees as a metaphor for their relationship.  Finally.  It had been a few weeks since something on a date was a metaphor for the relationship, I was getting worried.

Emily has a thing for dungeons, because I think this is at least the third time she’s had dinner in one this season. Has she been reading too much 50 Shades of Grey?  I don’t know if there are any dungeons in 50 shades of Grey, but if there aren’t then maybe there should be.  Last week Wolf discussed his dead grandparents to gain sympathy, this week he discussed having his heart broken by someone that he loved.  Next week’s dinner conversation with his parents will be about the near extinction of the grey wolf in the 20th century. Nah, he’s not coming back next week.

–Sean runs around the streets of Prague and happens upon Emily on the way home from her date with Wolf and makes out with her.  Wolf, let me introduce you to the Alpha.

Sean = Alpha

-Next up is a group date with Doug, Chris, and Sean.  Chris is frighteningly angry that he is on a group date instead of a one-on-one. They’re taking a carriage ride to an old castle.  Hey, Emily, I wonder if it has a dungeon?

During his alone time, Doug continues to act like he’s afraid to touch her, so she sends him home.

In their alone time, that appears to be in a dungeon, both Sean and Chris seem to do well.  Chris tries his best to screw it up by whining about not getting a one-on-one.  Sean gets the rose, Chris melts down in private. It seemed like Chris was doing ok, but if he can’t hide his growing insanity then he won’t be around long.

-Jef gets the final one-on-one, and they’re going…..WALKING AROUND TO SOME SHOPS.  They reenact their love in puppet form and then make out.  They lay on the floor and talk about how in love they are (basically). There was no doubt about it, Jef killed it.

-Emily decides to forgo the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party.  Chris melts down and interrupts the rose ceremony.  He gets the rose eventually.  I think he would have anyway, but now he’s exposed his mental instability.  Everyone says goodbye to Wolf

Best Moment:  Jef says to Emily- “I want to date you so hard and marry the fuck out of you.”  TEAM JEF

Worst Moment:  Emily walks Doug to the gates of the castle and explains to him that it just isn’t happening, that she’s been waiting for a spark, and it never showed itself.  So, clearly, she is about to send him home.  Doug decides that this is the perfect time to lean in for a kiss. Emily doesn’t skip a beat and continues sending him home.  This show has many painfully awkward moments, and this one puts them all to shame.

Power Rankings:

4.  Chris (Psycho, 25)

Chris melted down several times this week, a few of them in front of Emily.  I think she likes him, but between his lunacy and the fact that some other guys are really stepping up their game, he has a ton of ground to make up.

3.  Arie (Race car driver, 30)

I think Arie is still in the mix, but the weirdness with the producer this week has to keep him out of the top tier.  He also annoys the hell out of me with the voice he talks to Emily in.  He raises the pitch of his voice.  Listen and you’ll hear what I’m hearing.

2.  Jef (Entrepreneur, 31)

It is hard to keep Jef out of the top spot this week.  They had a great date and he did what he had been failing to do in previous weeks by really taking the initiative when it comes to showing his feelings and affection.  I think he is a cut above Arie and Chris, and is just a sliver out of the top spot right now.  #TeamJef

1.  Sean (Insurance agent, 28)

Even if he hadn’t pulled his “hunt Emily down in the streets of Prague like she’s an unwitting American backpacker and he is the guy from Hostel” move I think it’d be hard to keep Sean out of the top spot.  She’s definitely head over heels for him and they have a lot in common, and then he goes and seeks her out after Wolf’s date and basically has a date with her himself.  Like I said, I don’t think he is that far ahead of the field, but he’s the force to be reckoned with until proven otherwise.

BOLD PREDICTION:    Emily only has to send one guy home next week.  But she hasn’t been shy about eliminating guys the instant she knows she is done.  Two weeks from now will probably also be “meet Ricki” week and I’ll bet she doesn’t want any more guys than necessary for that week.  I think she’ll send an extra guy home and we’ll only have two guys heading into the final stretch.

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