The Bachelorette Power Rankings: Finale

The final week.  Still in Curacao

I’m so nervous.  Hold me, Chris Harrison.

Ricki is here, and so are the backwoods West Virginians that she calls a family.  Her dad resembles Joe Don Baker

-Jef meets the family first.  Emily’s mom sounds like she has spent a lifetime smoking.  There’s definitely a sweet spot with smoking voice.  A little bit and a woman gets a sexy edge to her voice.  Alot and she sounds like she swallowed an oven mit filled with razor blades.  A little more and she needs a laryngectomy.

Jef asks Emily’s dad for permission to propose and he gives his blessing.  That seemed like it went very well.  Mom liked him, and he was humble in front of brother and dad.  It could only have gone better if he sang “Country roads” and talked about how the Big 12 is better than the SEC.

-Next up is Arie.  Things start off a little more awkwardly because Arie is talking way too much.  Arie breaks out his trump card though- a box full of dead roses. After that he looked a little less like someone with autism and more like a hoarder with a heart of gold.

-After meeting with both guys, Emily is hoping that her family will pick the winner for her.  But they won’t.  Emily is mad.

-Emily decides to let Jef meet Ricki.  Jef sits by the side of the pool while Ricki swims around giggling.  It was kind of like my interactions with the gorillas at the zoo.  Finally Jef and Emily jump in the pool too and it seems like they have a good time.  Later Emily and Jef spend MORE time together and make out a lot.  It is looking increasingly like Jef has this in the bag.

– And sure enough, Emily meets with Chris Harrison.  If you’ve seen this show before you know this means that Arie is what doctors refer to as, DUNZO.  Sure enough, Emily says she has made her mind up and doesn’t want to put Arie through the whole thing.  That’s definitely respectable.  It bugs me when they make the runner-up humiliate themselves by proposing even though there’s no chance.

So now comes the terribly uncomfortable conversation where she has to break it off with Arie.  Emily wants to tell him how great he is and how much she liked him.  Arie recognizes that a long conversation about that isn’t going to benefit anybody and he gets up and goes home.

-Jef proposes to Emily, she says yes, they’re super happy.

-Jef and Emily are still super happy

-Arie is not super happy.  He apparently flew to Charlotte to give Emily his journal that he kept during the show.  That’s normal.

Emily gives it back to him tonight.  There is no way to describe how awkward that was.  It was worse than all of the scrapbooking in the world.  We can all understand that it can’t feel good to think you’re about to get engaged and then be dumped.  But stalking the girl who dumped you is never the key to her heart.
Another season in the books.  I have my doubts about any couple that was created on reality television, but Emily seems like she had a good mindset and approach going into this, and Jef seems like a pretty normal dude.  So will it work out?  I don’t know, but I do know that it has a better shot than Courtney and Ben.

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