Week 2. Still way too many girls for Sean and I to plausibly evaluate, but we’re going to try! We’re in Los Angeles…
-First up is a one on one date for Sarah. Sarah is the one-armed girl with a heart of gold. Sean shows up in a helicopter. They fly to the top of a skyscraper, where Sean tells her they have to bungee jump to the bottom. There was a startling lack of puns. I was hoping to hear “When I said I wanted to fall in love, this isn’t what I wanted!” or “Wow we’re taking the plunge on the first date” or “This is like diving into that ass.” They jumped, it looked pretty fun. Sarah earned major points in Sean’s eyes for being courageous and never hesitating. She earned major points in my eyes for not saying something like “bungee jumping is a lot like falling in love” like people usually say on this show. Sarah says, “My ability to love someone is not affected by how many hands I have” Waka Flocka Flame featuring Wale and Roscoe Dash agrees.
Sarah is touched that Sean picked an adventuresome date for her when many people think she can’t do everything a two or three armed person can do. She gets the rose. It was a great date all around. Sarah just set the bar pretty high.
-Next up is a group date for Sean and 13 ladies. That’s a lot of ladies. They’re doing a photo shoot where the girls are trying out to be on the cover of trashy romance novels with Sean. The girls are divided into 4 groups: cowgirl, vampire, sexy, and historical. Seems like “sexy” isn’t very creative, but who am I to complain? Kristy, a professional model, wins the contest. BUT DOES SHE GET THE ROSE? We’re having a pool party to find out. Wait, a pool party? First he gets the girls dressed up in slutty outfits and makes out with them, then tells them to strip and jump in a pool with him? Getting a little greedy on this date, aren’t we Sean? At least wait three weeks to go all Waka Flocka Flame music video on us.
At the pool party, Lesley the political consultant and Sean come agonizingly close to kissing but don’t. Then Lesley comes back to seal the deal. That earned her major points. Kacie B gets the rose, though, for having courage or something.
-Desiree gets the next one-on-one. Sean decides it will be a good idea to turn this show into a different show
Sean and Chris Harrison have set up a fake art exhibit. Their plan is to have art break, make her think it’s real and her fault. In my experience, public embarrassment is definitely an aphrodisiac. This is a less realistic first date than the helicopter base jumping date he went on with J. Walter Weatherman earlier today. I like what he’s going for with the sense of humor/practical joking thing, but if anyone in real life tried that on a first date it would absolutely be a recipe for a rejection, a kick to the crotch, and restraining order. She takes it well though. They go back to his place for dinner and a hot tub. She gets a rose and they make out. Chemistry was off the charts.
-We head back to the house for a cocktail party. A few interesting things happen:
First, Amanda pisses everyone off. Why? Because she is surly and brooding when she is hanging out with the girls,but perky and happy when Sean is around. I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. You’re on this show ostensibly to find love, not to make friends. If Amanda feels like she has enough friends and doesn’t want to be besties with total strangers, does that mean she and Sean aren’t a good match? Maybe Sean is looking for a girl who will play nice with others, and maybe he isn’t. At least wait until she starts back-stabbing to talk about how evil she is. If sitting on the couch with a terrible look on your face while you refuse to talk to anyone makes you a bad person, then I guess I’m a bad person every time there’s a football game, intervention, or social situation.
Secondly, Robyn brings up race to Sean. Robyn is African-American, she has noticed that Sean has a relatively diverse crew of ladies in the house. At least compared to prior seasons of The Bachelor. So she wants to know if Sean has a type. Sean says he doesn’t, and he’s dated girls of all races before and is more into personality traits than physical traits. Then he sends her home. Nah, just kidding, she stays. I admire her for addressing head-on a subject that many people tip toe around. There are very rarely any minorities on this show, and even rarer do they make it past the first few weeks. No, Sean has not cured racism by having a few non-white girls still on the show past the second week. But the fact that it’s been acknowledged is probably a step in the right direction. Or it was just a blatantly obvious move by the producers to make sure they don’t face any more discrimination lawsuits. One or the other.
Amanda and Robyn both get roses at the rose ceremony.
Best Moment: Lesley and Sean’s photo shoot. Lesley didn’t win the rose on the date, but her getting half naked and making out with Sean for the cameras was pretty great to watch. Kristy’s photo shoot got the rose, but Lesley’s actually had chemistry.
Worst Moment: Catherine says “I’m a vegan but I like the beef.” Normally I think pick up lines that are eye-rollingly bad are hilarious. But that made my groan for an entire hour.
Running counter of the times they say “right reasons”: 2. Amanda drew the first “right reasons” comments of the season. If you had 104th minute of the second episode in our pool, you are the winner! Contact ripatranzone to collect your prize.
Running counter of “princess/prince charming” remarks: 1. Just a hunch, but I feel like we’re going to have a great number of these this season. I’m keeping track.
6. Catherine (Graphic Designer, 26)
Catherine didn’t get much one on one time with Sean this week, but she has two things going for her: 1) She is adorable, 2) She got possibly the most camera time of any of the peripheral girls tonight. She needs some time with Sean if she’s going to stick around though.
5. Kacie B (Administrative Assistant, 25)
I’m loathe to put her in the rankings, but it’s hard not to. She got a rose from Sean on the group date, and she showed that she has veteran savvy in the way she acted around the other girls. I’m not optimistic about her long term chances, but for right now she’s in the mix.
4. Tierra (Leasing Consultant, 24)
Sean is quite obviously physically attracted to Tierra. She was one of the “sexy” caste girls at the photo shoot for crying out loud. It seems like she could be poised to be this season’s Courtney as well because none of the other girls seem to like her. I’m dropping her down until she establishes more with Sean though.
3. Sarah (Peggy from Mad Men, 26)
I struggled with where to put Sarah. She and Sean had a great date. He got out of it exactly what he was looking for: Sarah showed her adventuresome side and also opened up to him emotionally. But, at least from what we could see on TV, most of their connection seemed to be about her vulnerability due to her only having one arm. I’m going to need to see a little more before she can get the bump, but I do think she’s in this for the long haul.
2. Lesley (Political Consultant, 25)
I still have some bitterness about Lesley denouncing nerds last week, but even Supreme Chancellor Valorum couldn’t deny that she skyrocketed up the leader board this week. She did great at the photo shoot and got some one on one makeout time with Sean. Sean is smitten, and if she keeps this up she’ll even win over a nerd or two watching at home.
1. Desiree (Bridal Stylist, 26)
Sean had an interesting set-up on her date with the whole practical joke thing. It could have back fired in any one of a thousand ways, but she rolled with it and that was exactly what Sean was looking for. Her power make out with Sean in the hot tub afterwards was what clinched it for her, though. We’ll see if the other girls can keep up.
BOLD PREDICTION: Once again, I am going to predict Kacie B’s demise. I think she goes out without even getting a one on one date. I just don’t see it with her and Sean. She has Bachelor Pad written all over her.