The Bachelor Recap and Power Rankings: Week 6

st croix

St. Croix!  I read on a not so reputable website that Sean is a born-again virgin, so maybe it’s appropriate we’re in the virgin islands, right? Right?  Hello?  On to the show…

-AshLee gets the first one-on-one.  Prior to their date, Tierra calls her a cougar.  “She is 32 years old.  When I am 32, I want to be married and have kids and have my life set.”  AshLee may be a cougar, but Tierra is the one with her claws out! Am I right?  Am I right?  Is this thing on?

AshLee and Sean swim out to a catamaran and sail to a private island. AshLee dishes to Sean that Tierra is still isolated from the other girls. AshLee says that she’s nice to Sean but she is a “pouty-pants” otherwise. Well put. Sean seems like he appreciates the snitching. They frolic and make out in the water.

At their romantic dinner AshLee says that she has some terrible secret she needs to tell: that she got married at age 17. She built it up SO much. Sean reacts as anyone would, what’s the big deal? She made a really dumb mistake 15 years ago. I’m happy for her that she was able to get out everything she was nervous about getting out and that she seems to be turning a corner in her life. Knowing all of her emotional struggles also kind of makes Tierra’s comments about “she is old why isn’t she married?” seem even more dickish. Also inaccurate, since she technically got married before you, Tierra!

AshLee feels like she is getting over her abandonment issues, but is it healthy to get over abandonment by getting extremely attached to one person so quickly? I guess we’ll find out.

WHERE'S YOUR BIKINI CATHERINE

WHERE’S YOUR BIKINI CATHERINE

-Tierra finally gets a one-on-one. They’re heading on a walking date around St. Croix.  We haven’t had too many of these this season, those were a fixture for Emily. Sean buys her stuff and that makes her really happy.  They run into a funeral procession parade of dancing people.  Tierra says she’s the happiest person ever. Sean asks her how it is with the other girls, and she says she doesn’t really care about the other girls because they won’t be around much longer.  I think that’s a fair response, but it doesn’t seem to mollify Sean.

Things get a little awkward at the romantic dinner when Tierra tries to clear the air and Sean admits that he feels distant.  Tierra pleads her case by saying she is falling for him.  It seemed to me more like a desperate plea to stay on the show than a genuine expression of emotion.  The Tierrarist is about to be Zero Dark Thirty’d.

-Next is a group date for Catherine, Des, and Lindsay. Prior to the group date, Sean breaks into the girls’ hotel room at 4:40 am.  I tried that once and it ended with pepper spray and a lifetime ban from the hotel.  Double standard.  He takes them to the far eastern point of the island so they can watch the sun rise, and the goal is to take a road trip across the island in time to see the sun set on the western side.  I gotta be honest, that is a brilliant idea for a date.  Actually, screw the date, that is just a brilliant idea.  I’m doing that the next time I’m on an island.

The room rates are to die for! Right? Right?

The girls are feeling the pressure of hometown week looming on the horizon so they all try to up their game and maximize their time with Sean.  All three have some great time with Sean, but Lindsay get the rose.  Honestly, right now it is hard to write any of these girls off.

-Lesley gets the final one-on-one of the week.  They head to an old rum factory just to wander around, talk, and pick avocados.  I’d be looking for abandoned rum.  They’re having a good time and Lesley wants to open up and tell Sean that she is falling for him, but when the moments come she hesitates.  I feel like that is a totally normal thing to do in real life, but on this show where many of the other girls are telling him outright that they’re falling in love with him, being guarded can cost you the competition.

-Back at the house, Tierra confronts AshLee about AshLee’s snitching. AshLee tries to explain herself, but Tierra says NO, and walks away like Groucho Marx.

The fight spills over into the next room. Tierra thinks AshLee tries to sabotage her. AshLee tells Tierra she is rude. Tierra says that her parents told her that she has a sparkle, and don’t let them take the sparkle away. AshLee brings up Tierra’s rude eyebrows. Tierra says that she cannot control her eyebrows. Do you hear how irrational you sound when you get into shouting matches? You start talking about rudeness and sparkles. Please, let this be a public service announcement that if you are mad at someone to just either talk calmly about it with that person or avoid them until you can calmly talk about it. Otherwise I guarantee it that you will say something as stupid as “my parents told me I have a sparkle.”

Sean arrives as the fight is simmering down so he gets to see Tierra as a sobbing mess that can’t control her eyebrows. Sean was intending to have Tierra meet his sister and see how it goes, but he decides to send her home instead. He frames it as doing her a favor by sending her home from such a taxing experience, but really you have to think he was just tired of the drama that followed her everywhere she went.

-Lindsay, AshLee, Desiree, and Catherine all get roses.  Lesley goes home.  I really thought she was a contender, but I guess she didn’t open up enough.  You had someone like AshLee pouring her heart out to him on one date and then Lesley being guarded on her date, who do you think Sean is going to pick?  Oddly, they didn’t show any of the conversation that took place when Sean walked Lesley out.  Normally they’d show Sean giving the normal platitudes.  I wonder if there was a juicy fight they decided to edit out.  One can hope.

Running “right reasons” tally:  I’m counting AshLee’s “pouty pants” Tierra rant as a right reasons comment.  So this puts us at 7 total.

Princess/Prince charming tally:  Still stuck at 3. This one just isn’t happening, but maybe we’ll get a run of them in the last few weeks.

Best Moment:  The barely concealed joy on the faces of the other girls when Sean told them that Tierra had gone home.  Where’s your sparkle now bitch?

Worst Moment:  When Lesley is sent home, Catherine breaks down into tears.  Ok, you two got close and you’re sad to see her get her heart broken and sent home. I get that. But then Catherine says something to the effect of “I thought Lesley had more in common with Sean than I do.  Her going home has really shaken my faith in things.”  That doesn’t sound like someone who actually wants to win.  It also sounds like Catherine may have developed a crush on Lesley.

POWER RANKINGS 

catherine

4. Catherine (Lesley’s bff, 26)

Catherine didn’t seem like she got too much time with Sean this week.  On the one-on-one time she had on the group date she told Sean that her dad is suicidal.  He didn’t seem to take it as well as AshLee’s emotional outpouring.  Her breakdown at seeing Lesley leave was also unusual.  I think she’s on the outside looking in right now, but she could jump back into it with a strong hometown date.

3. Dez (Bridal Stylist, 26)

Des had a pretty good week, she monopolized Sean’s time on the group date as much as she could.  They have a good connection.  I think she’s just a hair below the top two at the moment.

AshLee

2.  AshLee (Damaged, 32)

AshLee had a great week.  She basically surrendered herself to Sean and he seemed to like it.  I’m a little concerned about her because I feel like she has a lot of issues simmering just below the surface and Sean is not a licensed therapist.  If she can avoid having a breakdown in the next few weeks she might just win this thing, but that seems like a big if. I’m worried about her if she gets sent home because she has really latched on to Sean emotionally.

lindsay

1.  Lindsay (Substitute teacher, 24)

She seems like she has the strongest connection with Sean at the moment.  The other girls have called her silly and immature, but she and Sean seem to understand that her goofiness is only skin deep.  As much as Sean talks about family, I think the fact that she seems extremely family-oriented will help her next week.

BOLD PREDICTION: The previews for next week showed some roadblocks for Sean on the hometown dates.  Catherine’s sisters, Des’ brother, Lindsay’s military dad, and AshLee’s yorkie.  In past seasons we’ve seen competitors get eliminated because of their family.  I think the families will grill Sean, but the confrontation that they’re showing will be overplayed.  Sean will get along with everyone and eliminate someone because he doesn’t like them.  Not because their methed out brother punched him.

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