There are 8 guys left, but who will survive the bloodletting? We’re in Barcelona
-Drew gets the first one-on one, and it’s a walking around the city date!
Do these dates work in real life? Most dates I go on involve a lot of sitting and eating and bowling, maybe I should add in some walking. Drew went into the whole “my family is important to me” spiel, but his actually had some depth as he talked about his dad who is a recovering alcoholic who also is battling cancer. That was definitely much more meaningful than the usual “I like my family so family is important to me” line that guys usually drop on this show.
They have a private dinner, but Drew decides he needs to steal her away. He grabs her and takes off running to escape the cameras….which succeeds for about 30 seconds until the cameramen catch up. They make out HARD against a wall in an alley. I think that gets my official BOSS MOVE of the week award that I have just invented.
Drew then RUINS the romance of the moment by bringing up James. Man. I feel like it was a good move to tell her, but doing it right after an amazing alley make-out? That is a classic rally-killer.
-Next we have a group date for 6 guys, including James!
It is a soccer-themed date, even though Brooks calls it futbol. Des is going to take on the guys in a match with a women’s professional team backing her up. The girls win 10-2, James was a total liability in goal.
The dudes decide to confront James about his statements. James tries to put the onus on Mikey, but reading his body language he is definitely lying. He tries to attack Michael personally to deflect from himself, which causes Michael to do an impression of James that involves making motions with his hands and saying “we’re going to go to clubs bro.” “You sound like you’re auditioning for the Jersey Shore quite frankly,” says Michael. Michael is still an unlikable ass, but he cuts to the quick.
They put his feet to the fire on his “I could be the Bachelor” comment, and he goes nuts on them but basically admits it by saying that he only said that was worst case scenario and that it was just “guy talk.” That is an admission!
Des decides to confront James. James blames Mikey for the whole thing, claims he didn’t say any of it, and thinks that the guys are ganging up on him because they see him as a threat. He starts crying too, the sign of true desperation. Des decides she needs to sleep on it. Nobody gets a rose.
-Zak gets the privelege of getting a one-on-one the next morning. Great situation to be in. They are going to have an “artistic” date. Picasso is mentioned and Zak asks if he should walk around making this face
Yeah, knock yourself out.
Their artistic date evidently just involves drawing a naked dude. I think I would have preferred a walking around the city date, but Zak rolls with it.
All in all, they have a good time. Zak finally seems like a normal dude to me and less like a caricature, but I’m having a hard time seeing him as a contender still.
-Des and James sit down for Round 2. She decides not to send him home after a long and painful conversation. James goes back to the hotel and is confronted by the other dudes, who are PISSED. It’s funny for this big guy who definitely likes to carry himself as a tough guy to claim that the other guys are ganging up on him and bullying him. James seems to be claiming that he was taken out of context. He was just acknowledging the reality that only one guy can win this show and end up with Des, so the silver lining could be ending up on The Bachelor or using the notoriety of the show to help your career. That doesn’t seem totally unreasonable to me, but James is just such a douche I’m having a hard time taking his side here. Kasey also points out that in the early stages of a romance (whether it be on a reality show or in reality) you probably shouldn’t be looking for an exit strategy. Basically, when you go on a reality dating show you need to go all in.
-At the rose ceremony, James gets the boot anyway after all of that. But he brings down Kasey with him. Juan Pablo also gets El Boot. I felt bad for Juan Pablo.
Running “Cinderella/princess” count: 4
Running “right reasons” count: I don’t know if anyone actually said “right reasons” during the many James confrontations, but I think the spirit was there if not the actual words. So I’m upping the total to 23.
Best Moment: On the soccer date, Des pulled Chris aside and READ HIM A POEM SHE WROTE. I almost gave that Boss Move of the Week to Chris, just because his earlier poetry pull was such a boss move that it inspired Des to write her own poem about him.
Worst Moment: James as goalie in the soccer game. What were they thinking? James looked like a matador out there just waving goals by. I never thought I’d see a worse performance than the Spanish goalie in the Confederations Cup, but here we are. AM I RIGHT? Seriously, am I right? I didn’t watch the Brazil-Spain game, I just saw the score.
5. Michael (Dick, 33)
This guy is just a straight up jerk. I think the most galling thing is how he uses legal terms sometimes. This is really unusual, but I have a strong urge to jump kick him. Right in the face. Des seems to like him I guess, so I should probably put him higher. But I can’t bring myself to do it.
4. Brooks (& Dunn, 28)
Quiet week for Brooks. He didn’t do anything wrong, but some other guys are standing out and Brooks is just coasting. He needs to step up if he wants to stay in the game.
3. Zak (Drilling fluid engineer, 31)
Zak is growing on me. Of the guys left, he seems like he might be the most normal. I think I could see Des giving him the whole “we have a great friendship but never developed the romance” spiel, though, so it’s put up or shut up time for him next week.
2. Drew (Snitch, 27)
He took out James and had a great one-on-one date where he really established himself as a contender. Des had said he is a little reserved in the group situations, so he needed to shine in his one-on-one and shine he did. There’s something I don’t like about him on a personal level. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I kind of want to jump kick him in the face.
1. Chris (Mortgage Broker, 27)
Drew made a strong move for the top spot, but he can’t unseat Chris this week. He would have if it wasn’t for the poem. Des is smitten.
BOLD PREDICTION: I try not to watch the previews for the next week’s episode because (like my favorite show of all time, 24) they try to mislead you and often end up spoiling stuff. Well, I watched it this week and it looks like there is a massacre coming up in the near future where guys leave the show and Des is distraught. I don’t know how to interpret all of that, so I’ll just say that my bold prediction is again that multiple guys will be sent packing next week.