The Bachelorette Recap and Power Rankings: Week 8

It’s hometown week! Time to meet the people that definitely do NOT approve of their sons’ decisions to be on this show.

milwaukee

First up is Milwaukee for Nick’s family. Nick takes her to a brewery where they try a beer and polka. Milwaukee is on the shores of Lake Michigan not far from Illinois and it has serious little brother syndrome about Chicago. Nick apparently has 45 siblings, and we’ll have to see if he has little brother syndrome about any of them. Andi is interrogated by some of Nick’s sisters. His older sister wants to know if she is here for the right reasons.  Nick’s 9 year old sister wants to know why everyone refers to her as “the accident.” Andi seems to make a good impression with the family and there were no embarrassing blow-ups over Andi’s refusal to eat brats.

I’d say that went well

bernie slide gif

And Bernie Brewer agrees Next is Arlington, Iowa for Chris arlington

Chris says that Arlington is the middle of nowhere, and he isn’t kidding. According to the 2010 census, its population is 429. There were more people than that in my graduating class from high school. There were more people than that at the strip-off they had to do on that awful group date a few weeks ago.  More people have tried to catfish us in the comments to this blog than that.  From a quick Google Maps search, it appears that the nearest “big” city is Cedar Rapids, which is over an hour away.

Normally on this show they go through this big charade of pretending that they are going to move to somebody’s hometown. When in reality, we all know they are just moving to Los Angeles to try to parlay their appearance on this show into fame. But Chris is a farmer, so he probably would actually want Andi to move to Arlington because he can’t move his farm to Los Angeles

Or can he?

Or can he?

Chris takes Andi out on his tractor, and even lets her drive. They broach the topic of whether Andi could be happy moving into big corn country. Chris brings up Cedar Rapids- which we previously established is over an hour away. Andi says that she is a southern girl from ritzy Atlanta suburbs, so the country doesn’t necessarily scare her away. Chris then reveals that he hired a pilot to fly over with a “Chris Loves Andi” sign

Russell-Casse

BOSS MOVE OF THE WEEK

They meet Chris’ family and Chris’ mom in particular talks to Andi about how she could fit in on the farm and how they’re ready to have her be part of a family. I’m skeptical that Andi would ever move to Iowa, but his family definitely knocked it out of the park with Andi.

tampa

Next up is Tampa  for Josh. Josh takes her to a baseball diamond. He says he has trouble returning to the baseball diamond because it reminds him of his embarrassing failures. Josh claims that he quit baseball because he didn’t have the passion for the game and he wanted to be there for his family. He lies about the fact that he quit professional baseball because he was terrible [Once again, worth pointing out that his OPS as a professional always hovered around .600 and he never got above A ball.  But yeah, he quit because he missed his mommy]. That’s interesting, but here is a question- WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

Josh is concerned about his brother, Aaron Murray. Aaron Murray is a very successful quarterback who was about to be drafted into the NFL at the time this was filmed, and Josh is clearly trying to live vicariously through him. His family stresses that Josh will be required to attend Aaron’s games every week and bear witness to the superior brother’s accomplishments. Andi is really into Josh, but is she into following the Kansas City Chiefsweek in and week out?

dallas

Finally we go to Dallas for Marcus Marcus says they’re going to spend a day in his life, which evidently means taking her to a bar in the middle of the day. Then he starts stripping. This is supposed to be a callback to the group date where he stood out as a stripper, but he kept saying it was a day in his life. Andi doesn’t care because she enjoys the stripping.

Marcus has opened up to Andi about his emotions and past, and his family is surprised because he’s normally a more reserved person around them. Nothing bad happened on this date, but it didn’t quite pop as much as some of the others.

-The guys and Andi arrive back in LA and are brought together for Chris Harrison to inform them that Eric died. That understandably dampens the mood.

Andi tries to begin the rose ceremony, but she’s too overcome by emotion seeing the guys standing there and thinking about Eric. She puts on her game face and gives out roses to Josh, Chris, and Nick.

Marcus gets the boot. You could kind of see this coming earlier in the episode. Her dates with the other guys’ families seemed a lot deeper, and everything she says about Marcus seemed to be along the lines of “he’s a nice guy, but…”

Best Moment:  When Andi and Chris were trying to explain what happened with the plane, Chris’ family assumed that the big reveal was going to be that he farted.  Maybe living in Iowa wouldn’t be too bad after all.

Worst Moment:  Josh, seriously, do you think that Andi and all of us at home don’t have Google?  That we can’t look you up on FanGraphs, Baseball Reference, or Baseball Prospectus and see your stats?  You played professional baseball and walked on to a college football team.  Those are impressive accomplishments.  BUT THEN YOU FAILED.  Stop claiming that you quit because the lifestyle was too hard or because you missed your family.  Plus we know that your family was probably attending all of your games, at least until they figured out that Aaron was the one to hitch their wagon to, so don’t give us that bullshit.  You hit your ceiling as an athlete 10 years ago, it is time to move on and get a freaking job.

POWER RANKINGS

chris

3. Chris (Crop Duster, 32) Chris has no shot.  Andi liked his family and she definitely likes him, but when your strongest selling point is “You can commute to Cedar Rapids,” it just isn’t going to work with a girl like Andi.  He’ll get tearfully rejected next week and become a contender to be the next Bachelor.

Nick V

2.  Nick (Polka, 31) Nothing bad happened with Nick this week, but nothing great either.  He’s still in this but he needs to out-polka the guy in the top spot.

Josh M

1.  Josh (Career .213 hitter, 29) Of course it’s Josh.  You can hear Andi trying to talk herself out of it every week, but she said all along that she is a sucker for guys like him.  She doesn’t care that he has no discernible personality, job, future, or ability to hit South Atlantic League pitching.  She’s perfectly content to be the wife of the brother of someone successful.

BOLD PREDICTION:   Next week is FANTASY SUITE week.  This isn’t that bold of a prediction, but I’m thinking that Andi will go 3 for 3 with fantasy suite invites.  Josh, never having gone 3 for 3 in his baseball career, will be impressed.

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