The Bachelorette Recap and Power Rankings: Week 2

Week 2.  Still a lot of filler to sort out.  Still in Los Angeles.

los angeles

We start the show with Britt still sad in a hotel somewhere.  Brady appears.  She had to have gotten advanced notice that this was going to happen because a normal person’s reaction to Brady showing up uninvited would normally be furious anger or paralyzing terror. Brady announces his intention to court Britt. Oh God, they’re going to keep updating this story throughout the show, aren’t they? This is going to be worse than when they’d interrupt great Garfield and Friends episodes with segments dedicated to the farm animals

garfield

Who am I kidding? I loved every minute of this show

-Back in reality, Kaitlyn takes 8 guys on a group date.  They head to an abandoned warehouse where they find Kaitlyn and Laila Ali, who is going to teach them how to box.  “Boxing is a lot like relationships..” And that attitude is what got Floyd Mayweather in so much trouble.

Kupah had too much fun boxing and forgot to talk to Kaitlyn. But then Kaitlyn, ever the
sadist, decides to force the guys to box each other. Maybe Kupah wasn’t so dumb to learn
how to stop a fist from destroying his brain, though I don’t know if there are a ton of brains at risk tonight.

In the Ben Z vs. Jared final, Ben out weighs him by around 50 pounds. It is a bigger
mismatch than Ivan Drago vs. Jared.

towel

Throw in the damn towel, Kaitlyn!

Kaitlyn says she is really worried about Jared but wtf did she expect? Boxing is dangerous even for people who know what they are doing.  You matched up a bunch of amateurs with no regards for skill or weight.  It’s a miracle more people didn’t end up in the hospital.

In the middle of the cocktail party after the date, Kaitlyn gets a note to come
outside, and it is Jared. He is risking his life to come visit her. They make out and
then says “Thanks Carmen, I really lurve you.”

Ben Z gets the rose for killing everyone else.

-Clint gets a one on one date next.

They are doing an underwater photoshoot. “And you have to fight sharks with your bare
hands while you do it!” -What Kaitlyn wishes was happening.

They make out underwater while a creepy lady directs them. Didn’t make for great viewing, but Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy it. Clint gets the rose.

-The next group date has 7 guys going to a comedy club to learn stand-up from Amy Schumer and try to impress Kaitlyn.  As someone who likes making dirty jokes herself, a sense of humor is pretty important for Kaitlyn.

“JJ is a sweetheart, he’s just missing charisma, humility, and a sense of humor.” – Amy
Schumer.  I only wish ABC had time to show us what she thought of every guy there.  Then I’d be obsolete.

The guys perform and seem like they get a few laughs.  Especially Tony the healer, who decided to do a weird monologue about his destiny and it got more laughs than all of the people trying to make jokes.

Several of the guys make out with Kaitlyn at the after party, and one of those guys is JJ, who gets the rose.

Cocktail Party:  There is a gentleman’s agreement that the guys who didn’t get any dates
will get the first one on one time with Kaitlyn. But JJ decides to break that agreement and steal her away immediately. The other guys lose their MINDS.

Being assertive is a good strategy, but then JJ goes back into the house and starts smugly trolling the other guys.  I was going to criticize him for being a smug ahole, but the trolling works wonders as several of the guys freak out and completely lose their cool.

Tony walks around like he looks like he wants to use his gemstones to kill someone and
Kupah goes up to Kaitlyn and tells her several times that he doesn’t feel a connection
with her. She tells him she did feel a connection, but now he ruined it. She overhears
Kupah rehashing the conversation to the other guys and sends him home.  That was an epic self-daggering.

When he is supposed to be doing his exit interview, Kupah’s meltdown continues and
Kaitlyn runs outside to see what is going on and we get a cliffhanger? Bullshit. That is not
cliffhanger worthy.

Best Moment:  With one smug sentence, JJ destroys Kupah’s entire world.  You have to respect that level of troll game.

Worst Moment:  The show ends with Brady asking Britt if she’ll be his girl and them happily kissing.  That had better be the last we see of them.  It’s a bad sign if they feel like we need this kind of filler material.  Once someone leaves this show I don’t care about them at all unless they resurface on Bachelor in Paradise.

Running “right reasons” tally: 4

POWER RANKINGS:

JJ

1. JJ (Former Investment Banker, 32)

Yeah, that’s right.  If they can phone it in and do a bullshit cliffhanger, I can phone it in and not do power rankings.  We don’t even know who got roses yet, so I’m not going to rank people that might get kicked off in the first two minutes next week.

JJ has still given us no indication of what, if anything, he does for money.  But he showed he is willing to stomp on Kupah’s throat to win Kaitlyn’s heart, and I think that kind of go-getter attitude is something she appreciates.

BOLD PREDICTION:  Kupah wasn’t the only one who seemed ready to go off the deep end at JJ’s arrogant comments.  Tony is already off the deep end, and JJ pushed him even more off of it.  Several others could be seen stomping around in anger.  I think JJ single-handedly eliminates at least one other guy next week.

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