The Bachelor Recap and Power Rankings: The Women Tell All

Time for the annual tradition of bringing back all the rejects and letting them pile-on each other.  Figuratively.

Losers

As is tradition, the people who got kicked off the earliest seem to be the most vocal.  No one gives a shit about what you think when you got kicked off in the first few weeks.  The “chicken enthusiast” who got sent home on the first night is back, and she brought her chicken!  The chicken says that she learned a lot about herself but she wishes everyone else on the show had been more honest and open.

chicken

Important Discussion of Race

Amber and Jami bring up that Jubilee apparently said she is going to be the first “full black woman” to go far on the show, which offended them as being biracial.  Jubilee denied that and Chris Harrison moved on quickly because this show is about chickens and roses, not about serious issues like race.

Despite being called “complicated” by Chris Harrison, Jubilee sounds like the experience was positive towards her moving forward with her life.

Arsenic and Old Lace

Lace says that she was in a bad place when she was on the show, and she has learned some things about how to be a better person, i.e. she got some therapy.

A man stands up and says that she is “crazy, but crazy beautiful” and reveals that he has a tattoo of Lace.

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Honestly, that could be anybody

He gives her flowers and they quickly cut to commercial.  This seems like the second act of a movie that ends with that guy killing a LOT of people with a knife while wearing Lace’s skin.

Manwich

Manwich Original confronted Manwich Bold for being a bully, but Manwich Thick & Chunky reminded Original that she made fun of her for being thick and chunky.  Delicious.

Olivia

oliviamouth

The pile-on begins immediately with everyone complaining about being bullied by Olivia.  Olivia says she was bullied as a child, and got flashbacks of it on this show because people were always making fun of her body.  There’s some merit to that, but Chris Harrison is not impressed.

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As this season’s villain, she also says she has gotten an incredible amount of hate and abuse on social media and recap blogs and that it’s been tough.  To her credit, she offers what seems like a genuine apology to everyone for everything that happened and says she is a better person because of it.  Let’s hope she explores those feelings on Bachelor in Paradise.

Caila and Ben

Caila is next.  And she says she really was in love and it was hard and painful blah blah blah.  I like Caila a lot but this is always boring when they bring back the person who didn’t make the final.  What do you expect them to say?  It only gets interesting when they get to confront the Bachelor…

Ben comes out and nothing really happens.  Boring.  Ben does say that he is still in love and is ready to get married.

POWER RANKINGS (for who should go on Bachelor in Paradise)

6. Becca: She’s boring but she’ll definitely create drama by being the object of affection of all of the guys who like hot boring women (i.e. all of them).

5. Amber:  Amber is becoming a mainstay on this show, maybe the third time will be the charm for her.

4. Leah:  Someone who is willing to blatantly make up lies about her competitors is a must.

2 (tie). Haley and Emily:  They conspire well together and we need to keep the dream of a twin fantasy suite alive.

1. Olivia:  Obvious choice so that she can bully and be bullied.

FINAL PREDICTION:  It’s pretty close between JoJo and Lauren obviously since he’s in love with both of them.  In the end I think it’ll be Lauren.  She’s been one of the favorites from the very beginning and she doesn’t seem to bring much drama.  She doesn’t seem to bring much personality either, but Ben likes that.  Ben will be nice and not embarrass JoJo by making her propose.

 

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