The Bachelor Recap and Power Rankings: Week 7

Nick had a rough day when we last saw him, and it’s about to get worse as Chris Harrison has cornered him for a conversation on the beach and Chris Harrison is shoeless, I repeat, shoeless.

woke-cat

Why did I have to see that?  Why?

Nick says he’s worried he can’t trust his own emotions because he’s tried and failed so many times on this show before. Chris Harrison says he’s worried because his bare feet are getting VERY sunburned during this long conversation.

Nick tells the women that he was momentarily doubting whether he should continue on the show because he is losing hope, BUT he is now (just minutes later) sure that his future wife is on this show because he has strong connections which each of the women left. Most of the women buy that, though I don’t know how they don’t have doubts when he VERY recently cried about how he wasn’t sure about continuing the process.

Nick cancels the rose ceremony and instead announces that they are going to Bimini.

bimini

Bimini is an island in the Bahamas.  It was the main launching point for rum runners during Prohibition.  I wish someone would prohibit Chris Harrison from ever showing his feet on TV again.

-Vanessa gets the first one on one.

It’s been a long time since Vanessa got a one on one. They get on a non-catamaran boat where Vanessa tells Nick she is concerned that he could come on the show and just convince himself he’s actually in love when he’s not. Nick tells her that is a concern, but it is TOTALLY not what is happening this time because…uh…HEY LOOK OVER THERE, it’s the abandoned shipwreck we are going to snorkel around! They go snorkeling and make out underwater (which is a great way to inhale saltwater), and Vanessa says she’s falling in love with him. Nick tells her that he likes her but he’s not going to say he loves her because “if I say I love you, I want to feel like I’m saying it for the first time.” Not saying “I love you” is an ok choice to make in the world of this show, but giving it a weird explanation like that is why you always lose, Nick.

-Next is a group date for Corrine, Kristina, and Raven. The stakes are high on this group date because the only rose being given out this week is the group date rose and thus this group date is the only chance to guarantee a spot in one of next week’s hometown dates. Raven, Kristina, and Corrine do solo walks on the beach to show us how seriously they are all talking this.

As if to underscore the importance of this week, it is a CATAMARAN DATE. The catamaran felt like it needed to redeem itself after last week’s group date turned into a disaster the Bahamas haven’t seen since Matthew. That’s not a reference to a past bachelor contestant named Matthew. There was a really destructive hurricane named Matthew that hit the Bahamas somewhat recently.

They head to a reef for some snorkeling and Nick reveals that they will be swimming with sharks, much to the chagrin of all the girls. I was ready to get snarky about them being afraid of pathetic nurse sharks or something, but those sharks looked pretty big. Kristina pulls the genius move of saying she is too afraid and she freaks out and leaves the water, causing Nick to follow her and comfort her and make out with her. That is the kind of street smarts that only someone who had to fight sharks for food in the orphanage could have. Each of the girls has quality one on one time with Nick, but Raven walks away with the rose. Raven and Nick get a beachfront concert. Corrine and Kristina are so devastated that the next two hurricanes should be named after them.

-Danielle gets the next one on one. They go BIKING AROUND Bimini, try fresh seafood, and play basketball with local kids. Danielle may look like Kristaps Porzingis but she sure doesn’t have his skills on the court.

“I’m falling for him. 150 bajillion percent.” Sure hope Danielle doesn’t have to do math in her job as a neonatal nurse or there’s going to be a lot of sad prospective parents out there.

When Nick brings up the idea of hometown dates, Danielle suddenly seems more guarded and closed off. With the other women all having close connections with Nick, Danielle could be dooming her chances. I don’t think it’s anything wrong with Danielle, she is nervous because her last serious relationship ended tragically and she just seems much more shy and demure than Nick is looking for. Nick likes his women brash and trashy. Danielle opens up to Nick later and tells him she is falling for him. But Nick says he doesn’t see a future with her and goes on for way too long about how he doesn’t feel a “longing” for her. Say what you will about Nick but he is always true to himself by rejecting women in the weirdest and most painful way possible.

-Later, Corrine sneaks up to Nick’s hotel room.  Nick pours her a drink, they start making out, and suddenly this is seeming like how things SHOULD be going anytime someone visits the Bahamas.  Corrine says “my heart is gold but my vagine is platinum.”

deer

Nick tells her to slow down and says “it’s always best to wait,” going against all that we know about Nick.  Corrine is now more worried and self conscious than ever.

-Rachel gets the final one on one date. They go to bar down the street that Nick says is a place only for locals and not tourists. The others got catamarans and sharks, Rachel gets the local dive bar on a cold afternoon. Rachel tells Nick that she’s never brought a white guy home before, but she’s also never brought a reality TV cast member home before and it is the latter that will likely cause her parents to be skeptical. They have a nice conversation and then the date ends. That was incredibly brief, but Rachel feels like it went really well.

-Prior to the rose ceremony, Nick barges into the house and pulls Kristina aside. He tearfully tells her that he doesn’t want to put her through the experience of meeting her family when he isn’t in love with her. Kristina and Nick did seem to have some good chemistry, but you knew this was coming when he kept using words like “admire” about her.  You don’t bang someone you admire.

The episode ends with no rose ceremony because that’s just how it is nowadays. There are four women left, and only four traditionally make it to hometown week, so I doubt there will be  a rose ceremony?

Running “right reasons” tally:  Stuck at 8.  Corrine is still here and this number isn’t moving, very odd.

You’re dead if you drank every time……Nick cried.  Get it together, man.

POWER RANKINGS

rachel

4.  Rachel (Attorney, 31)

Rachel was doing well and would be higher, but ABC announced that she is next season’s Bachelorette.  Why would they announce this while she is still on the show and not yet eliminated, thereby spoiling next week’s episode at the very least?  Damned if I know.

vanessa

3.  Vanessa (Special Education Teacher, 29)

The top 3 are all very close.  I dropped Vanessa down because I think she seems too skeptical about this process instead of buying in like an idiot.

raven

2.  Raven (Arkansas, 25)

Raven has gotten big group date roses two weeks in a row and her chemistry was pretty evident with Nick.

corrine

1.  Corrine (Platinum, 23)

Corrine rolled the dice on trying to bang Nick and lost, but she’s still the king for this week.  She dispatched her enemy Kristina and commented that Vanessa isn’t very deep because all she talks about is being Italian.  She and her nanny will have to come up strong in hometown week, though, because Raven and Vanessa are on her heels.

BOLD PREDICTION:  Nick will cry in front of the parents of more than one of the women.

 

 

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